The holidays have arrived, complete with images of happy couples and families celebrating together. But what if you’re single?
Well, there’s good news: the holidays are a GREAT time to meet someone new. Here’s how:
- Get your (Xmas) party on: instead of waiting for someone to throw a Christmas party, throw one yourself. Be sure to ask your friends to invite their single friends too.
- The World’s Best Approach Line: and it only comes around once a year – “Merry Christmas” – use it early and often at every social event and situation this year, and Christmas cheer will soon follow.
- More grins, less Grinch: being negative is rarely a good approach in meeting someone new, particularly at Christmas. Unless you’ve decided that you want to remain single forever, put on a brave and positive face and you’ll make a far better impression.
- Tag along: who says you only have to go to friends’ parties? In fact, the chances of meeting new people are increased when you go to a party of people you don’t know. If you find yourself at a loss for words – refer to point #2 above!
- Office events, but not yours: of course do attend your own office party, but avoid making a scene you’ll later regret. A friend’s office party, however, can be a more relaxed and effective way to meet other single professionals.
- Hire a Professional: Professional Matchmaking Services like Executive Search Dating consider December to be ‘peak dating season’, with lots of busy singles & professionals looking to meet new people. Call us today at 604-462-8743 (604-Go-Cupid), and we’ll introduce you to someone who’s a great fit for you!
- Turn the page: the holidays can be busy (and stressful) for some, so don’t add to that stress by worrying about meeting your perfect match before Christmas Day. Look to meet some new people during the holiday season, and be open to re-connecting with them in January, when everyone’s social calendar goes from being “Busy” to “Empty”!
Professional matchmakers know this: one of the MOST important (and least discussed) criteria in finding a compatible relationship partner is ‘relationship readiness’; theirs and yours.
You may meet someone who has many or most of the qualities that you are looking for, but if they are not truly looking for a relationship then the chances of truly connecting with them are slim. In other words, its not you – its them.
Here are some classic signs that your date (or you) may be a “serial dater”:
- Fast love: feeling physical chemistry on a first date is an exciting part of dating; but true chemistry should last more than one night. Putting too much focus on creating intimacy on a first date (from their side or yours) can be a sign that there’s not enough focus on REALLY getting to know someone, which in fact is more important than immediate physical attraction or satisfaction alone.
- Just not into you (them): its natural for a first date to be casual and fun without getting too in depth about your date partner. But if after a second, third or more dates with someone you still find them not interested in getting to know you, or if you find yourself not interested in getting to know them; it may be a sign that the relationship potential is just not there.
- Job = Life: meeting someone who is passionate about their job can be a positive, particularly if you are a professional and looking to meet the same. However, if after a few dates, the only thing you talk about is your jobs, it may be a sign that career is more important than a relationship at this time. In such cases, ask the following question: “What do you like to do outside of work?”… if the answer is a puzzled silence, consider it a ‘red flag’.
- Prioritize what’s important: regardless of what you or someone else says they want, you tend to make time for the things that are most important for you. Everyone is busy, but if you find yourself endlessly rescheduling dates (or someone is doing that to you) it might mean that you really aren’t taking dating seriously enough. If you make a date, keep it. If you don’t want to spend your life single, then you’ll need to prioritize finding a life partner. Simple as that.
- The secret weapon: if all else fails and you still can’t tell whether someone is really serious or not after a number of dates, then simply ask them: “what are you looking for at the moment: casual dating, or something more long term?” Be prepared to answer this question yourself as well; whether you are looking for something casual or more serious, let the other person know where you are at. Honesty in dating is the secret weapon to success.
In dating and in life, preparation works. When you’re prepared, you’ll find conversation flows on your date. On the other hand, having awkward silences, or getting into an argument on a first meeting may ruin your chances of getting to a second date, even if the person you’re with is a great fit for you.
Knowing which first date conversation topics to focus on, and which to avoid, may well turn an average first date into an amazing second or third date. Here’s how:
- Common interests: talking about things that connect you is always the best best. If you both love skiing, tell some fun stories from past ski trips, or ask your date why they love it so much.
- Travel stories: most people like travel, and many would like to do more of it. Talk about a recent trip you’ve taken, or a place you’ve always wanted to go to. Bonus points if the place you’ve always wanted to go to is a place your date has already been or wants to go to!
- What’s your passion: one of the best ways to really get to know someone, and to see if you might be a match is to uncover their passions. Also, no matter how nervous someone might be, you’ll likely see more of their true self when they’re talking about something they love.
- Music & movies: most people like music or movies or both, so ask someone what they like and talk about your favorites. Be sure that you’re also telling things about yourself so the date doesn’t begin to feel like an interview.
- Be in the moment: there’s a fine line between coming prepared with some fun topics to discuss on your date, and being overly ‘scripted’. The important thing is to listen to your date and move the conversation in directions that interest them and you. If your date tells you that they’re not a movie person, asking them what their top 3 movies are sends the message that you’re not really listening to them.
- Dating horror stories: no matter how funny you think your dating horror stories may be, your date will likely take it as a sign that they may be featured in one of your future stories to your next date. Avoid this at all cost.
- Past relationships: there is no reason or benefit to talking about past relationships on a first date, nor is it a question that you should ask your date.
- How stressed and/or overly busy you are: be positive and fun on your first date and you’ll likely end up on a second date before too long, which will make your life less stressful.
- How much you hate your job: everyone has bad days, but no matter how bad your day at work was, avoid focusing on this during your date.
- Complaining about Vancouver men or women: no matter how justified you feel you are to complain about your plight as a Vancouver single, remember one thing: your date is a Vancouver man or woman. Enough said.
Dating works best when it’s fun. But there’s a difference between ‘fun’ and ‘casual’.
Fun means: positive, enjoyable, smiling, fun to be around – all great things to have on a date.
Casual means: not serious, engaged or genuine – all bad things to have on a date. Here’s why:
- Quality is as quality does: in dating and in life, the best candidates always have options. If you meet someone great, assume that they are looking for someone serious, or that’s exactly what they’ll do after your first date.
- Meaning matters: the best things in life are not superficial. Focus on meaningful, interesting discussion topics on your date and you’ll find dating more enjoyable, and successful.
- Seriously not serious: taking dating seriously doesn’t mean being serious on your date… being positive, light and fun is always your best bet when you’re meeting someone new.
- Players dilemma: with the advent of free online dating, it can be a lot easier to date multiple people at the same time by not telling your dates the whole story. Here’s the catch, to make a real connection with someone you need to be your true self, which is hard to do when you’re not being truthful.
- Take your time: you’ll generally have better results by focusing MORE on LESS dates. Focus on screening your matches beforehand to ensure some basic compatibility before you find yourself experiencing ‘dating burnout’. If you’re unable or just too busy to screen your matches, hire a personalized matchmaking service like Executive Search Dating to do it for you: http://www.executivesearchdating.com/register.php
- True chemistry happens below the surface: to really connect with someone you need more than just pure physical attraction. In fact, matchmakers will tell you that chemistry can quickly fade when there’s nothing to connect you besides looks. Focus on getting to know your date beyond their looks alone, and you’ll soon find yourself connecting on all levels.
- Word of mouth: even in those cases where you meet someone and there’s no ‘sparks’, you’re better off to leave them with the impression that you are serious, genuine and a real ‘catch’. Who knows, their best (single) friend might be your perfect match!
- Beware the ‘dating vicious cycle’: casual dating can often lead to many bad dates, where you’re not truly connecting with people. This can make you feel negative about dating and even hurt your own self confidence, which makes the situation worse. Welcome to the ‘dating vicious cycle’.
- Hard wired to connect: people are generally built to value meaningful connections and experiences over simple casual or fleeting encounters. Particularly as you move from your 20′s into your 30′s, 40′s and beyond, you’ll find you derive more pleasure from deeper connections, conversations and feelings.
- Take it easy: now that we’ve convinced you to date seriously, here’s our next piece of advice: be relaxed, be yourself and take it easy on your first date. Telling someone on a first or second date how serious you are about finding someone special, or getting married, or having a family will almost guarantee that it won’t happen with that particular person. There’ll be plenty of time to discuss all these topics, but a first or second date isn’t that time.
Executive Search Dating President Paddi Rice provides some valuable dating advice for relationship-minded Vancouver singles. Successful dating, according to Paddi, is an essential element in finding your special someone.
Watch Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9bEG8mvKEs
There are 3 types of lies – lies, damn lies and dating lies. Half-truths, non-truths, supposed truths; all are a regular feature in the world of dating.
Successful dating starts with separating dating fact vs. dating fiction. Here are some classic ‘dating lies’ and tips on how you can spot them, and overcome them:
- The Internet has made it easier to meet your special someone: online dating and other modern ‘dating innovations’ can in some cases make it easier to meet people, but the lack of screening can make it challenging to meet someone truly compatible with you. Focus on meeting relationship-minded matches that have your basic criteria and you’ll get better dating results.
- All the good single people have been taken: in fact, the number of single people has stayed relatively consistent over the years or, in some cases, even increased. However busy singles tend to steer clear of singles bars and often don’t have the time or energy for online dating. Mixing up your approach is a good way to overcome this – ie. if you are looking to meet other single professionals, head out for drinks after work at a popular downtown drinks spot on a weeknight and you’ll find a very different selection of singles than you might otherwise find at a bar on the weekend.
- The male to female ratio in Vancouver is ‘way out of whack’: again, the truth is that the number of single women and men in the city is roughly equal and has always been so – if you don’t agree then go to a popular sports lounge on a hockey night (where you’ll find mostly men) or a wine tasting event (where you’ll find many women). Be creative in your search and attend some events that move you out of your comfort zone (an art exhibit, a poetry recital, a karaoke lounge, etc.), and you’ll increase the chances of meeting someone new.
- Chemistry has to be incredible on a first date or its not worth pursuing a second date: actually, true chemistry can’t always be determined on a first meeting. Look at a first date simply as a chance to meet someone new and, unless you are absolutely certain that you’re not interested in them, arrange to meet someone in a relaxed setting for a second or third date. Giving each date your full consideration will increase your chances of finding true long term chemistry with someone when you do connect.
They say a bad first impression may be your last. In fact, in today’s hyper-connected world that’s even more true.
But what if we told you that a good first impression, particularly on a first date, is also more important today than ever? Well it is, and making a good first impression will likely lead you from a first date to a second date before you know it:
- First come first served: arriving on time on your date, or even a little bit early, is an essential first step to first date success. Find a nice spot where its not too noisy or quiet, and order some water (save the drinks for when your date arrives) for the table before your date arrives.
- Nature’s aphrodisiac: a warm and friendly smile sends the message that you are relaxed and excited all at the same time. This will relax your date and create a ‘virtuous cycle’ of first date success.
- Dress for dating success: you don’t need a tuxedo or ball gown (in fact, avoid both on a first date!), but making an effort to look your best is an important part of making a good first impression on your date.
- Keep it simple: a simple ‘Hello, its so nice to see you!’ or ‘Hi, you look fantastic!’ is a great way to start a first date. Avoid being overly witty or sarcastic, or launching into complex conversational topics at the start… those will go over better later in your first or second date once you know each other better.
- Compliment, sincerely: if you like the way your date looks, or a particular clothing item they’re wearing (or how they’re wearing it), tell them so when you meet. This makes your date feel good, and shows that you’re paying attention to them. But don’t go overboard, telling them they’re incredible before you really know them will come across as insincere and have the opposite effect.
A lot has been made of a recent survey that said Vancouver women are the ‘Pickiest’ daters in Canada. Which leads us to the following questions:
- What do Vancouver women really want?
- Are they REALLY being too picky?
- Do Vancouver men make the grade?
The answers may surprise you:
- Normal is the “New Normal”: in the world of dating, ‘normal’ isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, having a decent job, being kind and nice to others, and being interested and interesting are all ‘normal’ qualities that Vancouver women and men value.
- Having your life together: in spite of what you’ve heard, its rare that Vancouver women judge someone based solely on their income level. But meeting someone that is in control of their personal financial situation is (and should be) an important quality when deciding on a long term relationship partner. Particularly if you might want to have a family some day. If your own finances aren’t in order, spend more time tying to get them in order, and less time complaining about how you are being judged for it.
- Be a ‘Take Charge’ man: in today’s world, men and women are equals, and that’s a good thing. But when it comes to dating, particularly meeting someone new, most women still expect the man to make the first step. Note to men: ‘you may not like this fact, but consider the alternative – if women were expected to make the first move, and men had to sit back and wait to be chosen, do you really think that would make your dating life better?’
- Be ‘Relationship Potential’: making an effort to look your best and be an interesting conversationalist will definitely not hurt your dating life, and will almost certainly help it. But for high quality, ‘relationship minded’ women, showing that you are also relationship minded is even more important. Focus on your date and what she has to say. Avoid checking out the wait staff or constantly checking your phone for messages, and forever changing plans last minute.
- One person’s ‘picky’ is another person’s ‘selective’: dating (particularly in the online dating world) can sometimes feel like a pure numbers game. When there’s a lack of screening or honesty, dating can indeed begin to feel like a chore. Our advice: be open minded, but ultimately do be selective. You will get better results from dating one or two compatible matches a month rather than five non-compatible matches. If you’re too busy to find compatible matches yourself, call a professional matchmaking service such as Executive Search Dating:
Click now for a FREE consultation: http://www.executivesearchdating.com/register.php
Executive Search Dating has won the award as “Vancouver’s #1 Best Dating Service” for the third year in a row, in the 18th annual “Best of Vancouver” awards, it was announced today. Thanks to all of our incredible clients, and to all those who voted for us. Call us today and discover why Executive Search Dating is Vancouver’s #1 personalized matchmaking service! Here’s our team at the awards ceremony:
Here are some simple but powerful tips on how you can meet your special someone in Vancouver. Executive Search Dating President Paddi Rice on CTV Morning Live last week!
Watch Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY8JRSAb3Po