Holiday gift giving can be stressful at the best of times, but what if you’re single or, better yet, if you’ve started dating someone new? To gift or not to gift, that is the question…
The secret is finding the right balance: a thoughtful gesture or gift can let someone know you care, but overdoing it can be a turn-off.
Here’s the do’s and don’ts of singles gifting, whatever situation you may find yourself in:
If you’re single and still looking – give yourself a gift!:
a ski day,
a gym membership,
a new love life (ie. hire a professional matchmaking service like Executive Search Dating, or attend a singles-only event)!
nothing – even if it’s just having a night out with friends (single or otherwise), avoid sitting home alone feeling sorry for yourself.
If you’ve started dating someone new:
keep it classic: flowers, chocolates, a thoughtful, hand written card.
tickets to a holiday movie or event that you’ll both enjoy together.
holiday at home: buy a tree and some decorations, add mulled wine, and spend a romantic evening of tree decorating and cuddling at home.
holiday for two to Europe (or some other expensive gift): if you’ve just started seeing someone, no matter how excited you are, err on the side of simple gifts to start… there’ll be plenty of time for more elaborate plans after you’ve spent some more time together.
edible underwear: you may find it funny, your date will likely not. In fact, you may end up spending your holidays alone with this gift.
Back in the ‘old days’, being single for the holidays felt terrible. It seemed like everyone was celebrating with their loved ones and families, often in an idyllic, snow covered house with a white picket fence. Except of course, for singles.
But times have changed, and so has Christmas. Over the past few years, Vancouver singles have decided to use the holidays as a time to meet some new people – its actually peak dating season for Executive Search Dating!
In this CBC interview, ESD President Paddi Rice explains how you can make the most of the holidays this year, including the “secret” to approaching someone new at a Christmas event!
You’re tired of being single for the holidays, so you consider the following options: leaving town, giving up, spending more time with family and friends than you actually want to, watching endless Netflix marathons, or all of the above.
Well before you consider those options, try this: use the holidays to meet some new people, maybe even THE ONE. Sounds impossible? Well, it’s not. Here’s how!
The holidays have arrived, complete with images of happy couples and families celebrating together. But what if you’re single?
Well, there’s good news: the holidays are a GREAT time to meet someone new. Here’s how:
Get your (Xmas) party on: instead of waiting for someone to throw a Christmas party, throw one yourself. Be sure to ask your friends to invite their single friends too.
The World’s Best Approach Line: and it only comes around once a year – “Merry Christmas” – use it early and often at every social event and situation this year, and Christmas cheer will soon follow.
More grins, less Grinch: being negative is rarely a good approach in meeting someone new, particularly at Christmas. Unless you’ve decided that you want to remain single forever, put on a brave and positive face and you’ll make a far better impression.
Tag along: who says you only have to go to friends’ parties? In fact, the chances of meeting new people are increased when you go to a party of people you don’t know. If you find yourself at a loss for words – refer to point #2 above!
Office events, but not yours: of course do attend your own office party, but avoid making a scene you’ll later regret. A friend’s office party, however, can be a more relaxed and effective way to meet other single professionals.
Hire a Professional: Professional Matchmaking Services like Executive Search Dating consider December to be ‘peak dating season’, with lots of busy singles & professionals looking to meet new people. Call us today at 604-462-8743 (604-Go-Cupid), and we’ll introduce you to someone who’s a great fit for you!
Turn the page: the holidays can be busy (and stressful) for some, so don’t add to that stress by worrying about meeting your perfect match before Christmas Day. Look to meet some new people during the holiday season, and be open to re-connecting with them in January, when everyone’s social calendar goes from being “Busy” to “Empty”!
Actions – in life and in love – speak louder than words. Your “Dating Style” may speak louder than both.
The proliferation of online dating sites and dating apps means Vancouver singles are dating more than ever – but there’s a catch: online dating makes it EASIER to go on dates, but also HARDER to really connect with someone based only on photos or online profiles (which may or may not be accurate).
In this new world of dating, it’s your “Dating Style” that shows your true self. Here’s how to make sure it’s a winner:
Mega-dater: a common phenomenon in today’s hyper-connected dating world, a Mega-dater plays the ‘volume dating’ game. The more dates the better – figuring that you’re bound to meet someone eventually and you might as well have some fun along the way. This typically means you’re not truly ‘relationship-minded’ and probably just looking for something casual.
Never-dater: on the opposite side of the spectrum is not dating at all. Although this might sound like you’re being selective, what it really means is that your chances of meeting someone special are very slim. When you finally do go on a date, it’ll likely feel awkward and strange. If you’re in this category, you’re not yet ready to break free from your dating comfort zone and so are probably not truly ready to meet someone special.
Checklist-dater: if you go on dates armed with a long checklist of criteria you’re looking for in someone, you fall into this category. Having criteria is normal, but when your checklist is long it tends to turn dates into interviews. Singles in this category are typically relationship-minded, but will find it hard to really connect on dates.
Positive-dater: singles in this category turn a typical negative dating approach (what can you do for me) into a positive one (how can I make this date as enjoyable as possible for both of us). They typically do some screening of matches before meeting them (or hire a professional matchmaking service to do it for them), but not to the extent that they never go on dates. They look at each date as a chance to connect with someone new, and go on first dates with a ‘2nd date mindset’ – ie. unless the first date is a complete flop, they make an effort to see someone a second or third time to truly get to know them. Positive daters are also open to making friends with dates that don’t turn into romantic connections.
If you’re looking for a relationship, your best dating approach (by far) is #4, followed by #3, then #1, then #2.
Halloween isn’t just for kids anymore, it’s also a great time for you to meet some new people. In fact, many Vancouver singles now consider Halloween to be THE biggest party of the year, surpassing even New Year’s Eve.
But how do you meet someone new while you’re ‘in costume’? It’s easy, just follow these 7 Halloween Dating rules.
Halloween Dating Do’s:
Treats alone won’t do the trick: yes handing out candied treats to your neighbors kids is a time honored and noble tradition; but if you are single don’t get stuck spending the entire night at home answering the door bell. Take advantage of the Halloween spirit, pull together a few friends, and hit the costumed party circuit. A costume change might be just the trick your single life needs.
Go big or stay home: get in costume! Unlike a normal party, showing up at a Halloween party without a costume is not a winning strategy. Chatting with ghouls, goblins and Dracula’s will feel strange if you are dressed in your standard work attire, or jeans and a t-shirt. Make a simple costume at home, or together with friends, or pick up an inexpensive costume at the local drug store. It’s the one time of year that you’ll feel LESS awkward WITH a costume than without.
Use your illusion: although approaching someone new at a bar or restaurant on an average weekend night may not be your thing; you’ll find doing so ‘in costume’ is a whole lot easier. Be bold: approach everyone you meet at the Halloween party. And fear not, if you do get ‘shot down’, no-one will recognize you anyway!
Halloween Dating Don’ts:
Be yourself: what makes Halloween so great is that being in costume allows people to break free from their comfort zones. Ditch your tried and true approach lines and try these Halloween approach line classics: “I love your costume, where did you get it?”, or “Tell me honestly, what do you think of my costume?”, or if you meet someone in a confusing costume (a frequent occurrence at most parties): “Great costume, what character are you supposed to be?”
Wear a costume that ‘locks you down': fun costumes are a great conversation starter, but avoid overly gory face makeup and/or costumes that limit your ability to move and mingle. The Godzilla costume you’ve been preparing for weeks might be fun, but you don’t want members of the opposite sex fleeing in terror. Plus, overly heavy or thick costumes will quickly turn the dance floor into your own personal sauna!
Put all your Halloween eggs in one basket: once you’ve got a good costume and a spirit of adventure, don’t limit yourself to just one party. Halloween has become big business so there are typically different parties spread out over a number of days. Look at this as the last, best chance to party before the holiday season madness.
Be creepy: Halloween should be fun, not creepy. If you are interested in someone by all means impress them with your costume; but good old fashioned politeness and friendliness will likely be required to interest them in seeing you ‘sans costume’.
The famous Matchmaker Albert Einstein once said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”
Here’s what this means for you: if you’re a relationship-minded single, and you’re tired of being single, change things up. Start doing things (today) that will INCREASE your chances of meeting someone special.
And, above all, avoid doing these 10 things:
Giving up: quitters never win, in life and in love. Nothing truly good in life comes without effort, and that includes finding your special someone.
Forcing it: the opposite of quitting is trying too hard, which will likely yield a similar result – or worse, you’ll end up with the wrong person. Being proactive in your love life is a good thing, but when it starts feeling like a (bad) job, its probably time to dial it back a bit.
Complaining: people generally want to spend time with someone positive, and that includes your perfect match. Laughing about the sorry state of your love life can be a nice release, but avoid moaning on about it – try this instead: fix it.
Getting stuck in a rut: trying the same dating methods over and over will not likely lead you to dating success. Mix it up, visit some new nightspots, attend some fun events, hire a matchmaker!
Having a long checklist: we all have criteria, but going into a date with a long checklist will likely make connecting with someone new very difficult. Leave the checklist at home and enjoy meeting some new and different people.
Going it alone: meeting new people is an inherently social activity… and you’re more likely to meet someone new when you’re together with other people, particularly when out socially. Think less ‘lone shark’ and more ‘out with friends’.
Travelling in large packs: the opposite of going solo, and equally ill-advised, is surrounding yourself with a large group of same sex friends when you’re out socially (Vancouver women, this means you) – making it virtually impossible for someone to approach you and say ‘hi’.
Doing it yourself: personalized dating & matchmaking services (like Executive Search Dating) are popular in Vancouver for a reason, they work. If you’re too busy or simply fed up with online dating & the bar scene, call us today at 604-462-8743 and we’ll find someone right for you.
Waiting for the ‘perfect’ match: here’s the truth that most dating professionals refuse to tell you – there’s rarely such a thing as a ‘perfect match’. Here’s what works – find someone compatible in some basic and important areas that you enjoy spending time with; be open to change; communicate, communicate, communicate.
Entering ‘The Vicious Cycle Of Dating': you feel frustrated about your dating life, which makes you sad. You go on your next date wearing a frown, or not even trying to be engaging, or complaining about single Vancouver men/women. This turns your date off immediately and the date ends early and unsuccessfully. Repeat.
You’re tired of being single and ready to meet your special someone, and you’re out with friends at a local hotspot. Single men and women are everywhere, laughing and smiling. You freeze and can’t think of anything to say or do. You go home alone, without anyone’s number or email.
Sound familiar? Well, it happens to the best of us. Not just in Vancouver, but in every city around the world.
What you need is a quick & easy tutorial on the power of flirting (for men & women). Next time you’re in this situation, follow these easy steps and your social calendar will start filling up in no time:
Make eye contact with someone you’re interested in, hold your gaze for a few seconds and smile.
Look approachable (don’t surround yourself with friends so no-one can approach you).
If you’re at a large table or booth with friends, and you’ve made some eye contact with someone, make an effort to leave your table (ie. order a drink at the bar, step out for some air, etc.) to give someone a chance to say ‘hi’.
When you are approached, be friendly. When approached by someone you’re interested in, be even more friendly
If you’re approached by someone you’re not interested in, be polite but do let them know you’re not interested: ie. ‘Hi, thanks for saying hello but I want to spend some time with my friends this evening. Have a great night.”
When you strike up a conversation with someone interesting, don’t feel obligated to spend the entire evening speaking to them. After a while, suggest you arrange to meet another evening for a coffee or drink and exchange numbers. If you need to, feel free to go back to your friends, or move onto another location.
Make eye contact with someone you’re interested in, hold your gaze for a few seconds and smile.
Look like you’re having a good time, laughing and joking with friends and others around you (chat to some people in your area – singles and couples alike).
Once you’ve made mutual, positive eye contact with someone you’re interested in find a moment to approach them and say ‘hi’. Introduce yourself.
Keep it simple: ask them how their evenings going, where they’re from, give them a sincere compliment, tell them what caught your attention, etc.
Don’t ignore their friends, introduce yourself to them if the opportunity presents itself.
When you strike up a conversation with someone interesting, don’t feel obligated to spend the entire evening speaking to them. After a while, suggest you arrange to meet another evening for a coffee or drink and exchange numbers. If you need to, go back to your friends, or move onto another location.
If the woman you approach isn’t interested, don’t take it personally, wish them a great night and go back to mingling with your friends.