How To Date Like A Matchmaker

Dating can feel awkward, even strange at times. What do I say, how should I act, how did I get here?

But imagine if you were a ‘dating expert’ and knew exactly how to date successfully and meet not one by many potential relationship partners?

Follow these simple rules and watch your single life soar:

  1. Be the person you’ve been waiting for:  remember your ‘dream date’, the person who rocked your world. Be that person. Don’t just show up, resolve to make the date special – not just for you, but for the other person too. Be engaged, be positive, be high energy – make it a date they’ll remember, and it may well end up being a date you won’t forget.
  2. Screen for friendship, not looks:  its natural on a first date to focus mostly on how someone looks. Here’s the problem with that: in terms of a successful relationship match, looks are less important than personality and other less ‘superficial’ qualities. Keep your focus on the ‘inner qualities’ of the person you’re with, and focus less on whether there’s immediate ‘physical chemistry’. If you connect on other levels, you may discover a chemistry that grows over time, which is the most powerful chemistry of all.
  3. Share, care and be self-aware:  to make a true connection, it’s important to be truly engaged on a date. Talking about favorite movies and funny travel stories is always a good start, but aim to talk about some topics of deeper, shared meaning – particularly if you’re on a 2nd or 3rd date with someone. Be sensitive to their needs, and show you care with thoughtful gestures and words when the time is right.
  4. Its not about you:  by focusing more on the people you are with than your own immediate needs, you’ll create a ‘virtuous cycle’ of dating success – one successful date will lead to another, building your own self esteem while making others feel good about themselves. Being relationship-minded from the start will lead you to a relationship in the end.

4 Things That Ruin Relationships

Matchmakers will tell you this about successful relationships: communication means more than immediate chemistry. Ideally, you want both, but finding someone with whom you can communicate openly with SIGNIFICANTLY increases the chances of a successful match.

And, above all else, AVOID these four “relationship killing” communication traits (Source: John Gottman, PH.D.):

  1. Criticism:  complaints are fine. Criticism is more global — it attacks the person, not their behavior. They didn’t take out the garbage, not because they forgot, but because they’re a bad person.
  2. Contempt:  “…name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. In whatever form, contempt – the worst of the four horsemen – is poisonous to a relationship because it conveys disgust. It’s virtually impossible to resolve a problem when your partner is getting the message that you’re disgusted with him or her.”
  3. Defensiveness:  “…defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. You’re saying, in effect, ‘The problem isn’t me, it’s you.’ Defensiveness just escalates the conflict, which is why it’s so deadly.”
  4. Stonewalling:  tuning out. Disengaging. This doesn’t just remove the person from the conflict, it ends up removing them, emotionally, from the relationship.

7 Habits Of Highly Successful Singles

How can you have success in dating, and meet your special someone? It’s a question that’s stumped singles for years, in Vancouver and elsewhere.

Surprisingly, the answer is not complicated. It starts with adopting the right ‘dating habits’, habits that successful singles have used for years to find lasting relationships.

Based on our 10+ years of professional matchmaking experience in Vancouver, here are the 7 habits of highly successful singles:

1.      Open-Minded & non-judgemental:

a.      Don’t judge someone based on physical characteristics.

b.      Sees the inner qualities of someone.

c.      Open to meeting new people.

 

2.      Positive & don’t take things personally:

a.      Warm, friendly, gregarious & light hearted approach.

b.      Positive view on life & happy with themselves.

c.      Focus on positive topics (ie. hobbies, interests, etc.).

d.      Avoid negative topics (ie. ex-relationships, life issues, their dating service experience, etc.).

e.      Don’t take it personally, even when a date doesn’t go well.

 

3.      Interested & interesting:

a.      Genuinely interested in other people.

b.      Are good listeners.

c.      Are interesting people with interests outside of work and dating.

d.      Can discuss a wide range of topics.

 

4.      Good communicators:

a.      Are caring, respectful, thoughtful and understanding.

b.      High energy & passionate about life.

 

5.      Patient & Persistent:

a.      Stick with it & don’t lose hope even when things aren’t going well.

b.      Take breaks from dating when needed.

 

6.      Reflect on what is and isn’t working:

a.      Are self aware and thoughtful about their dating approach.

b.      Carefully consider which dating methods or matchmaking services are best for them.

 

7.      Relationship minded:

a.      Are serious about finding someone – relationship ready.

b.      Approach their dates with a ‘2nd date mindset’.

Video: Online Dating Do’s & Don’ts

How do you get the best results from dating online? In this CTV interview, Executive Search Dating President Paddi Rice gives you some simple but effective tips.

Hurry, Your Christmas Gift Expires On Wednesday!

Merry Christmas from everyone at Executive Search Dating!

To make your holidays truly special, we have a great December special just for you: join Executive Search Dating by December 31st and receive $200 off a standard membership.

Call or register today but hurry, this gift expires on December 31st!

Call Us Today! 604-462-8743

Or Click Here To Register Now: http://www.executivesearchdating.com/register.php

7 New Year’s Dating Resolutions You’ll Never Hear From “Vancouver Dating Experts”

Yes, the New Year has arrived – but sadly, one thing hasn’t changed: Vancouver’s reputation as as dating graveyard – a place you go if you want to stay single forever. And it must be true, because all the self-proclaimed ‘Vancouver Dating Experts’ say it is.

Well we’ve got some happy news for you: Vancouver is a GREAT place to meet your someone special. But like all good things in life it doesn’t come easy. You need a strategy – and here it is:

  1. Be proactive:  good things in life don’t necessarily come to those that wait. Putting yourself out there and meeting some new people is an essential element of finding someone special.
  2. Be positive:  everyone wants to be with someone positive and fun. Practice your smile, and avoid negative topics once you have met someone new and interesting.
  3. Be the person you want to meet:  in the world of matchmaking, likes often attract likes. Seek out activities and interests where you will find like minded people and your chances of meeting someone special will increase.
  4. Be bold:  lose your fear of rejection and try approaching someone new when you are out with friends. You will be surprised by how positive the reaction will be to a friendly smile and ‘hello’ to a stranger.
  5. Mix it up:  doing the same ‘ole things and expecting different results is a recipe for frustration; try going out in a new neighbourhood or a new restaurant/lounge; or go shopping in a new part of town.
  6. Forget the past and don’t stress about the future:  when it comes to meeting someone new, think of every occasion as a fresh opportunity to connect with someone interesting. And when you do strike up a connection, keep it positive and fun… tell a funny holiday story!
  7. Hire a professional:  you wouldn’t buy a house without some professional help, so why not try a professional dating service to help you in your search for a compatible relationship partner. Professional Matchmaking firms such as Executive Search Dating are bustling with high quality singles who are eager to meet some new people this year. Call us today at 604-462-8743 to find out more!

Give Yourself A Gift This Christmas: $200 Off!

Merry Christmas from everyone at Executive Search Dating!

To make your holidays truly special, we have a great December special just for you: join Executive Search Dating by December 31st and receive $200 off a standard membership.

Call or register today but hurry, this gift expires on December 31st!

Call Us Today! 604-462-8743

Or Click Here To Register Now: http://www.executivesearchdating.com/register.php

The Top 10 Best And Worst Holiday Gifts For Vancouver Singles

Holiday gift giving can be stressful at the best of times, but what if you’re single or, better yet, if you’ve started dating someone new? To gift or not to gift, that is the question…

The secret is finding the right balance: a thoughtful gesture or gift can let someone know you care, but overdoing it can be a turn-off.

Here’s the do’s and don’ts of singles gifting, whatever situation you may find yourself in:

If you’re single and still looking – give yourself a gift!:

  • BEST:  
  • spa treatment,
  • a ski day,
  • a gym membership,
  • a new love life (ie. hire a professional matchmaking service like Executive Search Dating, or attend a singles-only event)!
  • WORST:  
  • nothing – even if it’s just having a night out with friends (single or otherwise), avoid sitting home alone feeling sorry for yourself.

If you’ve started dating someone new:

  • BEST:
  • keep it classic: flowers, chocolates, a thoughtful, hand written card.
  • tickets to a holiday movie or event that you’ll both enjoy together.
  • holiday at home: buy a tree and some decorations, add mulled wine, and spend a romantic evening of tree decorating and cuddling at home.
  • WORST:
  • holiday for two to Europe (or some other expensive gift):  if you’ve just started seeing someone, no matter how excited you are, err on the side of simple gifts to start… there’ll be plenty of time for more elaborate plans after you’ve spent some more time together.
  • edible underwear:  you may find it funny, your date will likely not.  In fact, you may end up spending your holidays alone with this gift.

Are The Holidays A Good Time To Be Single?

Back in the ‘old days’, being single for the holidays felt terrible. It seemed like everyone was celebrating with their loved ones and families, often in an idyllic, snow covered house with a white picket fence. Except of course, for singles.

But times have changed, and so has Christmas. Over the past few years, Vancouver singles have decided to use the holidays as a time to meet some new people – its actually peak dating season for Executive Search Dating!

In this CBC interview, ESD President Paddi Rice explains how you can make the most of the holidays this year, including the “secret” to approaching someone new at a Christmas event!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN NOW!  http://www.executivesearchdating.com/media_centre/audio/e_cbc3.html

Video: How To Meet Your Special Someone This Holiday Season In Vancouver

You’re tired of being single for the holidays, so you consider the following options: leaving town, giving up, spending more time with family and friends than you actually want to, watching endless Netflix marathons, or all of the above.

Well before you consider those options, try this: use the holidays to meet some new people, maybe even THE ONE. Sounds impossible? Well, it’s not. Here’s how!